Traditions Make Good Gifts

Ole! Ole! Stick ‘em in the eye. Cut off his Sack. Careful…You’ll dirty your pretty pink smock.

These are the familiar chants of a bullfight.

The great municipality of Quito celebrates its foundation with a week of Bullfights.

And if the Bull wasn’t teased, tortured, and murdered, there may be no impetus for this article.

But he was. And the worst part…no one got offered free beef sandwiches afterward.

While witnessing the spectacle with my sexy Spanish teacher, and her equally gratifying ladyfriend, my thoughts were taken deep into the bull fighting saga.

If man is suppose to be different then animal, is it because Man has the ability to tell Right from Wrong, or simply show compassion. Maybe its Man’s innate ability to laugh at his own flatulence.

If Man was subordinate to other Animals, would things be different (see: the Hounhymns in Swift’s Gulliver’s)? Would one Horse taunt us with a giant bag of Cheetos, only to stab us once we got to close to him? Would all the Horses in the audience chant ‘Cheetoh’ every time we ran into the seductive Orange Bag?

Would other Horses line up outside the BullRing protesting their fellow Hoofers poor treatment of defenseless man? And would gluttonous horses entering into the spectacle taunt their fellow big teeth members with the chomping of Human Thigh Sandwiches?

The bullfight may be summed up as incredibly representative of life’s dichotomy – Beauty & Evil.

On the NICE side, you have a Tormenter who moves with the grace of a professional ballerina. The Tormenter manages to make every gesture into an art form. In addition, the manly man is adorned in the most regal of outfits – tight sequined pants stopping at the calf, complemented by knee high booties, a matching sequined jacket that’s too small, and a captain’s hat. But it does look pretty.

On the other side….well, the Peter Pan looking fellow repeatedly stabs the defenseless creature until his mates circle around the big beast and deliver one final blow, saving the Toro the misery of having to stare at the strangely dressed male anymore.

But for the sake of TRADITION, shouldn’t Bullfights continue? There are very few spectacles left that have such a steeped tradition.

Some may argue, Why not continue the tradition of the Coliseum? And to them, I say…Fuck yeah.

Who wouldn’t love to see convicted criminals running scared around a subterranean labyrinth only to finally be slaughtered by a poached Sumatran Tiger.

Its not like thousands of bulls are killed daily for the sport.

Isn’t the excitement that the ritual tease&slaughter bring to tens of thousands worth the perceived cruelty?

Or should traditions change as education changes?

Its no longer acceptable to gas Jews, or lynch Blacks, or call Chinese people, Oriental.

We have found alternative ways to satisfy our enlightened minds.
We call the Jews Cheap Heebs, and clutch our handbags when black people come near to us. And the Chinese get their language mocked.

Apparently, these things are ok.

But the question persists…SHOULD TRADITION BE ADJUSTED FOR MODERN TIMES?

Is tradition so sacred that we allow it to persevere despite modern norms?
……………….The Electoral College
……………….The Right To Bear Arms
……………….The Refusal to allow Gays in the Church
……………….The Church’s Refusal to teach Safe Sex techniques
……………….The election of a person who has the most advertising
……………….The continuation of Reality TV

The BullFight is the event in which to contemplate such profound issues.
Even if the majority of people there resemble Cubs fans; displaying more interest in passing the jugs of wine, then actually watching the Dance with the Bulls. And the only true excitement came from fights in the stands (fairly universal), and the female roars that followed the very blonde looking Swedish BullFighter.

There is the situation of the SWORD. The sword is sheathed behind a brightly colored cloth. A weapon of Death disguised as a thing of Beauty.

This seems the perfect analogy for the conquistadors. A small group of Spanish men who arrived in Latin America with the blessing of God. They hooked the Indians by building the most ornate churches man could build. They lined streets with gold, and built grand palaces.

And behind the scenes, millions of Indians were forced to work in mines. Rapes were as common as dinner meals. And all the fortunes were sent back to Europe. And that’s before the African slaves even arrived.

So as one watches the Bullfight, reveling in the Spaniards founding of the great city of Quito, an outsider is forced to ask, What the Fuck. Holy Shit. What the Fuck are you Thinking?

Why would any independent group of people celebrate the traditions of their rapingpillaging forefathers? Especially since they fought for independence from Spain.

Its like the Jews watching Germans conduct celebratory gassings.

Or the African-Americans watching fat white men shout insults and whips at black cotton workers.

Part of the entrenched issues in South America come from the very method with which the Spaniards settled the continent. The Spanish (&their Euro counterparts in Portugal, Holland, England & France) cocksuckers murdered, raped, pillaged, enslaved, and didn’t even try to help build a free society. They left a legacy of betrayal and deceit that has been hard to break.

And yet, despite the overall abuse of Latin America by cowardly Europeans………Latin Americans remain some of the warmest, most lively, and most welcoming people on the planet.

It just goes to show ya…..no matter how bad things may seem, there is always a bright side.